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  • Writer's pictureChloe Lau

The Well Meaning "Aunties"

Whoever tells you that becoming a parent comes naturally, they are lying to you. Most likely an aging parent eager to become grandparent so they will use any means required to coax you into becoming one. Similarly, if someone tells you raising children is easy, especially in their infancy, are also lying. If someone tells you the second one will be easy now you've done it all before....Oh man....They are definitely lying to you. Other than the possible reason listed earlier, these people probably lived through hell themselves and couldn't resist getting all these young naive lovebirds to suffer like they did once upon a time.


Being a parent, took so much learning, often times you will feel like a failure, inadequate and completely incompetent fool. Why are they crying? Why are they not eating? Why are they not pooping? Why are they not sleeping? These are just the very few questions that you will be asking yourself (possibly) on a daily basis.


If you are like me, before my first born, I did a lot of reading (books and online) on what to expect, and what to do when in a certain situation. You feel like you are well prepared for this little fusspot that is about to ruin your serenity. Then the baby comes, along with all the doubts and uncertainties.


In comes the "aunties" that may or may not have some experience in child rearing. (and may or may not have really been your auntie)


Of course these aunties are well meaning, and think they are giving valuable suggestions that are going to help you becoming a competent parent. BUT, ultimately, it is important to follow your gut, you are the parent, you know best.


When baby H was born, he had trouble latching and consequently I didn't have sufficient milk. Coming from the era where formula was believed to be better, Mum was adamant I should switch to formula all together. Then someone else was commenting about how it was no good that my breast was not engorged, how I am starving my baby, how I shouldn't be so stubborn to be insisting on breastfeeding, when the baby was clearly hungry.


... ...


Let me tell you, when you are already sleep deprived, and so uncertain with all that is going on, the last thing you need to be reminded over and over again, is that you are doing it all wrong. It was a depressing time for me for sure.


I was lucky Matt intervened as he could clearly see that I was getting quite distraught. He called up a friend who is a mother of 3, and had her talked to me about it all. Just talking to a non judgemental, and encouraging human being was all that was needed for me. It helped me get through those very tough first months. I put my foot down about how I wanted things done; and the "aunties" in my life backed off to mumble in a corner between themselves - i assume. ^_^


Parenthood is tough, and no doubt there will be times you need to seek advice from those who have done it all before. But listen to your inner voice also. Don't doubt. Believe in your ability in becoming the best for your little one.

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